Are you one of those people who make New Years Resolution’s to get fitter, slimmer, healthier every year?
That’s ok because I’m not either!
I wrote this poem for anyone who has ever been to a yoga class and found it a horribly embarrassing experience. Everyone else is super toned, wearing the latest gear and able to dictate a shopping list whilst standing on one, beautifully manicured foot.
There you are in the baggiest clothes you could find, bright red in the face from all the exertion and you haven’t even completed the warm-up yet!
So you resolve to complete the latest Davina McCall fitness DVD from the comfort of your own home. This doesn’t get done either because:-
1 It would involve moving all the furniture.
2 You’ve just had a shower
3 The neighbours might see
4 You don’t know how to work the DVD player
5 You might tread on the cat.
6 You can’t bear Davina McCall.
So the DVD sits there gathering dust.
That reminds me..
Note To Self, Next years resolution…Do more Dusting!
So here is the poem I hope you like it!
THE YOGA CLASS
I went to yoga the other day
Whilst on one leg I began to sway
Then it started to become a hop
I was out of control, I could not stop
I cringed as I began to descend
On to a girl in a forward bend
Whose knees gave way and then she sank
Into a lass in a downward plank
We crumpled like a pack of cards
A sea of lycra and leotards
Of course, by now it was too late
To clear our minds and meditate
I don’t think it’s cool to be zen
So I’m not going to yoga again
And I will never be compelled
To tell anyone how I got expelled.