Adventures of a Dog Walker
You know the signs. You ‘re having a lovely walk with ‘mans best friend’ when you suddenly spot four legs, where a head should be, frantically writhing in the grass.
The first time it happened I thought ‘how cute he’s wriggling around in ecstasy’. I was partly right. There is nothing a dog loves more than writhing in a heap of fox poo!
It’s always when you have just valeted the car, cleaned the bathroom and have guests coming for dinner.These things go through your mind as Fido runs back to you triumphantly wearing the doggy version of Chanel No5. Your beautiful white Jack Russell now resembles a very, very, smelly zebra.
You then have to hope the dog hasn’t got any on his collar (they always have!) . You tentatively attach the lead whilst trying not to vomit. Then it’s time for the walk of shame back to the car, past all the other dog walkers, whose dogs look like they have just stepped out of the salon. You just want the ground to swallow you up but Fido has his head held high, and his tail wagging because he thinks he is irresistible. No one wants to chat, in fact, people cross the road rather than pass you. You now know what it must have been like to be the smelly one at school.
During the drive home you have to gasp for air through the open window then hold your breath for as long as possible before sticking your head out again.
Then, how to get your stinky four-legged friend into the bath without him contaminating your home with wild animal faeces?. There is only one thing for it, you have to sacrifice your nice new Marks and Spencer’s hoody, pick Fido up and get him to the bathroom as quickly as possible. Other members of the family look up from their phones to see this mad woman trying to carry a third of her bodyweight up the stairs whilst holding her nose!
Once little Fido is bathed and returned to his former handsome self you look around at the filthy bathroom, your ruined clothes, and smell the pungent aroma of fox poo wafting all through the house….just as your dinner guests arrive!
Anyone know the feeling?
Tip ; Use tomato sauce before bathing , it removes the smell.
Why do they do it?
It’s an instinctive thing that they do from when they were wild. It masks their own smell and confuses predators, it allows them to sneak up on prey without their own scent being detected.